A series “Elevated Chat” of writings, articles, insights and musings from Dr. Michael G Millett
and the archives of Elevated Therapy International
Creating The Self
Who am I?
Most people are looking for the answer to this question. In fact, it is more about a search for the answer to all the parts and aspects that make up who you are at this time is the question.
This is because the sense of self changes throughout life.
We are like a diamond with many facets to it, each facet is unique and intrinsic to the diamond.
Each facet makes up the diamond to make it complete.
Each facet of the self may be influenced by genetics, by love, by outside events, conditioning and influences, and growth too, and by the facets that are adjacent to it which are unique and part of the whole diamond.
Discerning the whole, the ‘self’ is achieved by examining the different parts or facets and understanding how they are connected to each other. Indeed, that is the bigger question !
The inner being that defines the whole can be connected with and explored through the unconscious mind through hypnotherapy and meditation or through dreams.
As babies, it would appear that we are born without self-awareness and don`t feel separate, we feel one with our mother. Then we become aware of our separateness from our personal need for food, shelter and love from outside of ourselves and from this – our sense of self and self-perception develops. From there we go on to gather memories, the main experience to interpreting the self.
A sense of I
Our memories of events and feelings surrounding these events and our environment together with other people`s reactions help to form our sense of self.
Our family and friends, our culture, intelligence and location also help us learn and define ourselves – our core.
It is the multiplicity and entanglement of all this that gives us the complex and conflicting aspects of personality and behaviour.
For example: being confident in business but uncertain in personal relationships. These contradictions separate the different facets of your own makeup and aid you in forming an internal representation of the person you are, but are they really accurate ?
Elevated Therapy Exercise to help you clarify your sense of self
1) Describe yourself personally to yourself (if no one else was listening) in five words or phrases.
2) Which five words best describe you as a child ? (perhaps how teachers were with you, interaction with friends and parents, how you felt growing up in that house of origin etc)
3) If someone was to ask you at a job interview to describe yourself in five words,
what would they be ?
4) Imagine meeting the family you grew up with, how would you describe yourself to them in that environment back then in five words ? (perhaps funny, sad, happy, peacemaker, responsible, the younger brother etc)
5) Choose five words to define yourself in the living situation you are in now ?
(perhaps successful, bored housewife, happy, unhappy, the breadwinner, lonely etc)
Now look at them in order of priority NOW from the most important and descriptive to the least, and cross through and ignore the ones that you think are the least representative in terms of your understanding of yourself today.
Just note when you cross through and ignore the least representative in terms of your understanding of yourself now, how it feels to let that aspect of yourself go ?
Then reread what is left and how it defines you. Use your observations and intuition to develop your insight into the inner you.
Consider which aspects have stayed with you since childhood and which have now gone.
Which words do you use to describe yourself now after this exercise, and how does that make you feel ?
This should now really touch your core of being and sense of self.
You may also be able to know more of what you need to address in your life, and change or develop in yourself today, perhaps through therapy and coaching or in other positive ways.